‘Thanks for your concern but that’s just my face – Life with non-verbal tourettes‘ is a 16-page A6 zine in colour and black-and-white. It is available on the maker’s Etsy store. Autism isn’t mentioned in this zine or in its Etsy descrition so I’ve filed it under my awkwardly-named Non-autistic(?) zines page. This creator also made ‘Autism Room 101‘, which I posted about here.

This perzine is essentially an account of what it’s like living with non-verbal Tourette’s Syndrome. When the author says “non-verbal” they seem to mean that their personal tics don’t involve speech or vocalisation, instead being in the form of repetitive bodily movements. I’m spelling that out here because this blog mostly talks about autism-related zines and in autism circles “non-verbal” is generally used as a (flawed) way of saying “non-speaking”. (The author doesn’t actually state in the zine that they DO use speech, so it’s possible they might also be a non-speaking person, but my reading didn’t infer that.)

The zine starts with definitions of the different types of tic disorders, then describes what a tic is: “Tics can be vocal – usually words or noises (such as clearing one’s throat). Only 10% of people with Tourette’s have swear words as vocal tics. Tics can also be motor – these are quick, often repetitive movements, such a blinking, facial grimacing, jerks and muscle movements.” Later sections include what it feels like before a tic happens, a very short history of the author’s diagnostic journey and school experiences, lists of their tics, some of the difficulties that they experience, insensitive comments they’ve received, and ends with a list of good things about their tics. It’s a sweet little zine and was a pleasant read.

‘a is for aspergers – a personal glossary of a spectrumy life’ is a 30-page A5 black-and-white zine. It is available to buy in the UK from pen fight distro and in the US from microcosm or Wasted Ink. The author’s website is here.

The zine is essentially a personal dictionary of terms relating to Asperger’s Syndrome. If this were written as an objective A-Z I would probably take issue with it in a few places but the author emphasises that it reflects only their own personal understanding of these terms and as such I think it’s a terrific way to not only learn some new things about autism, but also of exploring one person’s individual sense-making of their diagnosis and place in the world.

In the introduction the author states “This booklet, or zine, was a very difficult and personal thing for me to write. Bear with me. The purpose of this booklet is to explain some terms that have to do with Aspergers and autism as I understand them. My understanding might not be the same as the ones found in the media and the books that make the bestsellers list every now and then. I’ve got a lot of complicated feelings about a lot of this. My opinions are strong and deep, based on my own 42 years of exploration and introspection as a person who has an Aspergers diagnosis based on DSM-IV criteria. […] I want this to be helpful for people with autism-spectrum brain set-ups. […] I hope this work is taken for what it is: an honest effort to try to make sense out of a topic that is confusing. Of course, like Samuel Johnson, I have infused my own particular opinions and prejudices into some of my definitions. […]”

On page 24 the author defines ‘spectrumy‘, a word used in the zine’s subtitle: “This is an alternative adjective to autistic for describing people and behaviours. Sometimes people bristle and get defensive at the mention of the word ‘autism’. Spectrumy seems more conversational and approachable. Also, it’s much easier to use than saying “on the spectrum” all the time. I like having it as an option.“

‘MONOCHROME‘, published 2017, is a 24-page A6 black-and-white zine of the creator’s artwork. It is available on Cody’s Etsy store here and you can find more of their art on their tumblr here. Cody is the person behind the Flappy Hands zine, which I reviewed here.

The shop listing describes the zine as follows: “This zine contains just art, no words. It’s a tiny collection of black and white art, various styles but mostly abstract doodles and little sketches of random stuff.“

The zine includes patterns, doodles, illustrations of faces, birds, cutlery, and UFO encounters. The only text in the zine, in small letters at the top of one page, reads “I want to believe” – a reference to ‘The X-Files‘.

This is a full-colour A5 zine with 11 pages of photographs and 3 pages of text on glossy paper. You can buy a copy on the printer’s store here and you can find the author on Instagram here. I have no idea if this zine is connected to autism, so I will list it on my tentatively-named Non-autistic(?) zines page. Looking at the author’s Insta post about the zine, they use hashtags relating to mental health, disability awareness, special needs, SEN, and learning disabilities. In the zine itself the author mentions hidden disability.

The zine’s concerns are around guilt, paranoia, feeling ill prepared, and the tensions around a father’s role in parenting a young man with hidden disabilities and how aspects of such parenting may be misread and judged from within and without. It’s poignantly written and as a person who sometimes fulfills a not-entirely-dissimilar role I found it very moving. I won’t say any more about it, or the photographs (which are not of people), in the hope that you’ll have chance to experience the zine for yourself.

Although liberally illustrated ‘Different Times – Drag, life, rock’n’roll: Five years in Six Inch Killaz, 1994-99‘ is quite a thick, text-heavy zine at 40 dense pages of A5. The zine looks back at a period of the author Simon’s life when they were very active in the drag punk scene of the 1990s as Mona in the aforementioned band. The zine is sold by Charlotte Cooper at their BigCartel store for £3.00. You can also view some its pages and llustrations on the author’s flickr.

To me the zine seemed almost like an oral history of a culture that I knew nothing about. I found it surprisingly interesting, especially the author’s passing mentions of Asperger’s and some of the resultant social complications, naiveties, and intense loyalties arising thereof. The zine’s first page reads, in part:

“It’s a long zine, so let me break it down: I’ll start with drag in the 90s, the clubs I went to and the wider drag and queer scenes. I’ll introduce you to the five members of the band, our early history, and my zine Girly. Then I’ll talk about the way the band worked and what led to our downfall, before bringing us up to date in a different kind of queer DIY music and drag world.

My memories and opinions may not be shared by the other Killaz, and in some places these are influenced by something I didn’t know about at the time, which is that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s taken me a long time to get around to writing this stuff partly because of it.

Mona/Simon – London, 2013“

I’ve just re-read through the articles I listed on my zine history and culture page and compiled a huge list of interesting excerpts. Check it out at the bottom of the page.

‘Autism Room 101‘ is an amusing 20-page zine listing various sounds, smells, food and drink, people, and other things that some autistic people would like to see banished from the world for all time. The zine is currently available via the maker’s Etsy store and the Vampire Hag distro store.

The opening page reads: “For this zine I asked members of the Autistic community what they would put in Room 101. The idea was to pick something that they would want to be removed from existence. (This was a game, so shouldn’t be taken too seriously)“

Some of my favourite responses were “Things that make noise. All of them.“, “The bullshit ‘citrus vanilla’ smell that actually smells like betrayal“, “Donald trump“, “People who Laugh for no discernible reason“, “Invasive questions“, and “Cats licking plastic bags“.

‘Flappy Hands‘, published 2017, is a 24-page A5 full-colour zine of photographs, drawings, collages, and general visual joy. This zine is most definitely “stimmy” and you can get a feel for the maker’s style on their tumblr here.

On the opening page the author writes “Hi, so I’m Cody and I’m autistic. Flappy Hands is an art/photography zine about the things I love, my special interests, my stims, favourite places. Basically things that make me flap my hands with happiness.” They go on to say that their “favourite thing in the world is music” and that “Some songs I associate with certain colours or patterns. Where an artwork is based on a song, the artist and song title will be listed underneath it.” Later in the zine Cody talks about their anxiety around attending their first gig, which turned about to be “amazing” and “one of my favourite memories” and then about their “absolute favourite gig [which] was an Against Me! one…“. They also include a list of their favourite songs.

This is a lovely joyful zine and a pleasure to look at. I purchased my copy on their Etsy store here.

Volume 1 of ‘Autistic Leftwing Queer’ is a 50ish page black and white A5 zine which carries the following trigger-warnings on its first page: “Sexual Abuse, Sex, Relationships, Threats of violence, Self Harm, Suicidal thoughts“. The zine is comprised of short sections of the author’s text on collage-style backgrounds such as newspaper clippings, crosswords, packets of fabric plasters, illustrations, photographs, and all sorts of other things. Although the content is very troubling and emotive I enjoyed the visual style very much.

The zine begins “Dear” followed by a black rectangle which indicates the redaction of its subject’s name and goes on to reflect on the creator’s past abusive relationship with this person. While the zine isn’t humourless or joyless most of it concerns deeply personal experiences that I don’t feel comfortable detailing on this blog. My reasoning is that the author chose to publish the material in zine form, not online, and that it would be indiscreet or even wrong of me to violate those boundaries, particularly given that the author expresses concern about potential reprisal for using #MeToo and similar in the past.

In the closing pages of the zine the author changes style to explicitly draw attention to the difficulties autistic people face in asserting their boundaries and having them respected by others, and the potentially deadly serious consequences of this in terms of increased rates of sexual abuse committed against disabled people (especially those “read as women“), and increased rates of suicide among those autistic people “deemed ‘high functioning’“. Specifically, the author argues that for many “autistic AFABs” (autistic people who are assigned-female-at-birth – in other words gendered female from infancy) much of their lives are spent being told that they are a “nuisance […] to our families“, suppressing their sensory aversions and social needs while “trying our best to ‘do things correctly’” in spite of “consistent bullying or rejection“. The author argues that this normative oppression too often results in anxious and uncomfortable enforced compliance and asks “When you’re conditioned to accept feeling uncomfortable for the benefit of others and relying on them to tell you what’s ‘normal’, how can you tell what’s unacceptable behaviour towards you? How can you recognise abuse when your boundaries have been broken over and over by pretty much everyone you know, from an early age?“. The zine ends with a rallying cry to reject hegemonic normalcy, to spare autistic people this burden, and to teach autistic children to say no and “to say it loudly from a young age“, concluding “It’s depressing stuff. But it needs talking about. And it needs addressing. This shit matters.“

I’m not sure where this zine is available to buy online. I found my copy via a distro table at Sheffield Zine Fest 2019. The creator has a facebook presence here.